Monthly Archives: May 2014

I went to go see a movie in a movie theater tonight and there was a short courtesy announcement that proceeded the film and the previews.


That is nothing new.  It contained the usual fare – no talking and turn off your cell phones.


Then it had something new.  It talked about “report suspicious characters” and then…what to do if a giant robot attacks.


A giant robot, really?  Dear AMC Movie Theaters, what were you really talking about?


I realized as the video was playing that this “angry robot safety” announcement was really a response to the Aurora theater shooting.


And that is when I got REALLY PISSED OFF!

Our movie theaters now have to warn people what to do if someone walks in with an assault weapon.  That is sad unto itself, but what is so incredibly pathetic is that we are so afraid of the gun lobby, the gun nuts, and conservative asshole lobby that we can’t even talk about the actual danger we are nominally trying to warn people against.  We have to use some kind of pathetic metaphor like a “giant attack robot”.


You do not own a gun to protect your family.

You do not own a gun to protect me from tyranny.

You own a gun to insulate yourself from your own male inadequacy.

Can’t find a date?  Feel better by buying a gun.

Are you a total coward who is useless in a fight?  Buy a gun to feel better about yourself.

Career sucks, or a low income?  A gun will make you feel important.

Are you completely stupid?  Having a gun will make you feel like your opinion matters (at least while you are pointing it at someone)

Small penis?  How’s about an NRA membership too?